Teach Secondary - Issue 14.6

JET2HOLIDAYS Back inmy day, the playgroundwould thrumto the sound of fellow classmates singing ‘ The red car and the blue car had a race ’ and outrageous pronunciations of the words ‘Accrington Stanley’ ( ‘Akkkkkkkhrington Ssssstanleh!’ ). Happily, it seems that the grand old tradition of young teens playfully quoting ads andwarping the sales pitch to their own mirthful ends has continuedwell into the 21st century.Thanks to the ubiquity of Jet2Holidays’ commercials for package trips across YouTube and elsewhere – you know, the ones soundtracked byJess Glynne’s 2015 chart smash ‘HoldMyHand’with the slogan ‘ Nothing beats aJet2Holiday ’ – the company seems to have been trending onTikTok of late. Of course, because kids these days are all video editing ninjas, the end results typically see that audio accompaniment being placed atop footage of spectacular holiday accidents, disasters and disappointments. At their best, the end results depict gloriously surreal juxtapositions of breezy optimismwith all-out chaos. As youmight expect,Jet2Holidays’ own social media stewards are verymuch in on the joke at this point, posting new ads specifically tailored to their now improbably scaled-up audience – but we all know that somewhere out there, somebody’smaking Jess Glynne serenade footage of a hotel barbecue tipping over while amiddle-aged tourist attempts to lamp a sous chef. Thinkofanumber... ONE FOR THE WALL “We are not to simply bandage the wounds of victims beneath the wheels of injustice, we are to drive a spoke into the wheel itself.” Dietrich Bonhoeffer Teach Secondary’s digest of the latest goings-on in the profession... The newsletter What arewe talking about? Tour de France on Kahoot! BEAT THE BUDGET The UNINFORMED teacher’s guide to… 57% of the UK’s low-income families state that their children struggle to access capable devices or reliable internet outside of school Source: Censuswide research commissioned by RMandThe Digital PovertyAlliance 45% of school leaders report seeing increases in suspensions and exclusions between 2024 and 2025 Source: Summer 2025 School Leaders Survey carried out by Browne Jacobson WHAT THEY SAID… “The latest projections suggest a larger decline in state-funded pupil numbers than expected last year, with 85,000 fewer pupils expected by 2028.” –Michael Scott, senior economist at the National Foundation for Educational Research DO SAY “Darling, hold my hand…” Who is it for? KS3 students What’s on offer? A range of interactive challenges and trivia quizzes for the Kahoot! learning platform produced in partnershipwith the bodies overseeing themen’s andwomen’s Tour de France.Topics covered include the history of the race, the geography of the modernTour de France course and STEM-relatedmaterial focusing on the bikes used by competitors. Where is it available? kahoot.com/tourdefrance 638,745 The number of children and young people with education, health and care plans Source: DfE “Is this for Butlins?” DON’T SAY 06 teachwire.net/secondary