Teach Secondary 13.5

For a couple of weeks this spring, social media discourse wash dominated by one question – ‘ If you were a lone woman or girl in a forest, would you rather encounter a man or a bear? ’ In a surprise to literally no women, six out of seven of us said ‘bear’. The rationales varied, however. For some, the bear’s behaviour would be predictable, so there would be actions they could theoretically take to avoid being attacked. If a man was intent on attacking them, nothing they could do would stop him. Others felt the bear wouldn’t enjoy attacking them. At any rate, the bear wouldn’t pretend to befriend themfirst. People would also believe a woman if they said they’d been attacked by a bear. No one would have to watch the bear’s apology video afterwards, in which he claims to have turned to religion for salvation and declares that only God can judge him. A framework for feelings Many men saw the logic in these arguments. They understood that no one was saying they were definitely a predator. Similarly, when I visit Europe and see a negative response when people realise I’mEnglish, I don’t instantly assume they think I voted for Brexit. Some men, however, were outraged. How dare women imply they’re more dangerous than a bear? “Misandry!” they bellowed (even long after the rest of us had moved on to the next hot button social media trend). The problem is, for those men who perceived these discussions as personal attacks, there are plenty of internet silos nowwaiting to scoop themup. Podcasts, TikTok accounts and books predominantly produced by wealthy white men claiming they’re now the most oppressed people on Earth thanks to feminismhave become a multi- million-dollar industry. And alongside the validations of hurt, their audiences will be ‘treated’ to advice on how to subjugate women and girls. It’s little surprise that teenage boys are particularly susceptible to all this. Many of us will remember adolescence as a time when we felt we’d burst with the injustice of it all. Figures like Andrew Tate give young men a framework within which to fit these feelings. As the women and girls who have been disrespected, harassed or assaulted by the male adherents of this movement will attest, we can’t simply assume that they’ll grow out of it. We must find a way of talking to these boys and men about women’s safety that engages them, or else lose them to the so-called manosphere – that online subculture in which boys as young as 12 are inducted and radicalised into misogynistic, homophobic and racist ideologies. Basic decency There are, however, some effective ways of getting young men enthusiastic about gender equality – the first of which is to ask themwhat they think, and then listen without contradicting them. Often, simply asking ‘Why do you think that?’ or ‘What evidence do you see for that?’ can prompt them to arrive at a different, more productive conclusion. We can acknowledge those people that they like and then present themwith alternative role models. If they followmisogynistic influencers, then rather than jumping to condemn, ask what it is specifically that they admire about them. Then show them examples of other prominent men online who share the same or similar qualities, but without the side order of toxic masculinity. I’ve listed a few examples below. Above all, make them feel like part of the solution – not the problem. The truth is that we need good men to help us fight sexism; men who will call out their mates’ ‘banter’, intervene when they see misogynistic bullying online or in real life, and who can demonstrate that it’s okay for men to talk about their feelings in a healthy way. By, well, doing just that. Whilst I understand the arguments that men and boys shouldn’t be praised for simply showing basic decency, I would tentatively disagree. In a world where it’s so easy for them not to behave decently, they should be. It should go without saying, but if we want to address the harms wrought by misogyny and toxic masculinity, men and boys have to be fully involved in the conversation Natasha Devon Natasha Devon is a writer, broadcaster and campaigner on issues relating to education and mental health; to find out more, visit natashadevon.com or follow @_NatashaDevon POSITIVE ONLINE MALE ROLE MODELS @byalexholmes – Ayoung therapist who focusses on howmen discuss mental health @theyoungimam – Talks to young Muslimmen about the importance of respecting women ( NB – Andrew Tate claims to have converted to Islam ) @Michaekulloapt – Male body positivity and fitness,without the toxicity @TheOneArmedWonder – A former soldier turned disability activist andmodel 25 teachwire.net/secondary S C H O O L O F T H O U G H T