Teach Secondary 14.4

LewisWedlock discusses what schools can do to help teenage boys meaningfully explore what it means to ‘be a man’ F or secondary educators, the topic of masculinity often feels like an emotional minefield – one suffused with cultural anxiety, social media influence and an intense pressure to always get things ‘right’. For young men, these kinds of conversations are often a source of confusion, shame, defiance or even silence. For school staff, they’re conversations that are often squeezed around lessons, unpredictable safeguarding demands and stretched resources. There are lots of ideas, experiences and perspectives to consider when approaching work relating to masculinities within schools, and I’d argue it’s never beenmore confusing to knowwhere to start. What I’ve learned over years working with young men in schools, however, is this – that the cultivation of meaningful, transformational engagement isn’t to be found in knee-jerk, reactive responses. Instead, it’s in those person-centered, slower and messier routes to learning. To transform cultures of masculinity in our schools, we need to first embrace the ‘messiness’ of masculinity itself. Why listening comes first One of the most consistent patterns I see in schools is the desire to talk at boys instead of talking with them. Staff will often seek to speedily shut down views or ideas that are harmful or provocative, and understandably so. But in this rush to respond, we can often skip a crucial step – that of contextualising where these views are coming from . We can contextualise young men by visiting the worlds they’re currently inhabiting; by engaging, asking questions and listening to their perspectives. During my sessions with boys in secondary schools, I’ll ask questions like “ What does it mean to ‘be a man’ in your school? ” and “ Who are you expected to be when you walk through the gates each morning? ” Their responses reveal a range of influences – from older siblings and peer groups, to influencers like Andrew Tate. Some boys describe pressure to be ‘hard’, ‘strong’ or ‘emotionally detached’. Others say they’re unsure of what they’re allowed to feel. These aren’t just surface- level provocations, but rather insights into how masculinity functions as a social currency and compass within their everyday lives. It’s their context that reveals the positions they take and the archetypes they assume. And it’s precisely this context that we must explore further. I strongly believe that as educators, we can’t help teenage boys explore the depths of masculinity as a lived experience unless we first make space to hear how and why their current ideas have been crafted. We can’t helpmen develop their sense of self if we’re not attuned to their current experiences. To do this, we must make space for them to arrive as they are, and to explore the vastness of what masculinity can entail. Again, this is messy, and potentially time-consuming, but it’s work that I believe needs to occur. Making space The current discourse around boys in secondary schools often centres on risks; of misogyny, peer pressure, disengagement, radicalisation. These concerns are valid, and absolutely warrant attention – but when explorations of masculinity become framed solely through a set of rigid lenses, boys can often feel ‘under surveillance’ rather than supported. We can also talk in absolutes when it comes to masculine expressions, deploying terms like ‘toxic’ and ‘healthy’ when referring to distinct, binary experiences of maleness. There’s a rigidity to our conversations around masculinity which can, at times, hinder the ways in which we approach the young men in our schools. Inmy book, Masculinities in Schools , I talk about the importance of moving away from this ‘rigidity’ (approaching masculinity from a systematised, binary lens) and towards ‘plurality’ (embracing the multiplicity and contradictions of perspective and experience). To attune to, and navigate around this I like to focus on four main components inmy work with young men – curiosity , non-judgement , safety and congruence . Four components Curiosity is the ability to lean into an idea or expression, as opposed to simply pushing it away. This is particularly important when we consider that what we meet as educators may not be in alignment with our “We can’t helpmen develop their sense of self if we’renot attuned to their current experiences” Make space FOR THE MESS 40 teachwire.net/secondary