Teach Secondary 13.8

Theminutewe need Standing over a child and demanding that they immediately comply might feel like the right thing to do in the moment, but there are always consequences – and not just for the child. Take-up time slows escalation, protects pride and minimises disruption. It ensures that students are never cornered. Often, a reminder or a warning of poor behaviour is just bare. It might be given across a crowded room, or incidentally and not be underlined. Better instead to deliver it privately, with one minute of your time, because that investment of a minute now could save a great deal of time later. The minute is a check-in to make sure that they understand the task. That they’re sitting where they can focus. That they can calm their other thoughts. It’s the minute all of us need when we wobble. Done gently, it’s always seen as fair and kind. It’s a relational minute that the student will remember, even if things don’t go the way you want: ‘ I know, you checked in with me too, I’m sorry, but… ’ Whatever the outcome, your behaviour starts to have an effect. You’re paying currency into the emotional bank, even when things are difficult. That matters. Unexpectedmoments Even with the best planning, we can be blindsided. Youmight have given perfect private reminders and warnings, but they didn’t quite land, and now the student decides to escalate. The third time you intervene will be the last time that the student gets to be in control of what happens. After that point, you’ll decide if they move within the room or need to move out of it. It might be tempting to deliver the third intervention a little more harshly. Almost as a threat to what might happen: ‘ If you don’t stop doing that RIGHTNOW, I will have to have you removed by the gnarled deputy head with the shiny suit and thousand-yard stare… ’ Instead of reaching for the panic button, try reminding the student of their previous good behaviour. I know that sounds counter-intuitive, but it works. Right at the moment when you land the consequence on the child and they start to protest, you lead with, ‘ Do you remember earlier/ yesterday/last week, when you worked with so much determination? That is who I need to see today. ’ From the child’s perspective, this is an unexpected moment. Conversations don’t usually go like this. Just as their urge to protest the consequence is rising, they’re reminded that they’re better than that. That they can and will achieve. That they can find calm and focus in your classroom. Reminding them of previous good behaviour is easy if you practice positive noticing – then you’ll have lots of ready examples of the good stuff. Three simple rules ‘Strict’ is about making sure that students follow the rules, so it makes sense for those rules to be made as simple as possible. No more than three, represented by three words, and referred to in every conversation around behaviour, be it to correct or to praise – the same three pegs that everyone returns to. They shouldn’t be rules that fall from the mouths of adults and are endlessly repeated on roller banners around the site. They should be rules that make sense, and can be adapted to any and every situation. You don’t need the false consistency of 50 rules; you need the true consistency of three. There is a deep consistency to the same three words – Ready, Respectful, Safe – being used consistently, every day, by everyone. Very quickly, these rules become ‘ Howwe do it here ’ and the school culture shifts. Before you know it, parents are using the same rules at home, and relational practice starts to make sense in school and beyond the school gates. If you want to upgrade your school culture, then being strict is important. Being kind is essential. ABOUT THE AUTHOR Paul Dix is a children’s behaviour expert, bestselling author of the When The Adults Change ... series and creator of the online Behaviour Change programme for schools; his latest book, When the Parents Change, Everything Changes , is available now (£10.99, Penguin) BEST BITS OF SCRIPT What you say matters, and what you say in those tricky situations matters most of all. Your tone and physical language also matter, of course – but which words work best? • Use ‘ I’ve noticed... ’ when correcting poor behaviour, or recognising those going over and above. That way, there is no judgement or blame assumed. • Try saying the words, ‘ I hear what you are saying, and yet.. .’ to direct conversations back to where they need to be • A positive segue from a difficult conversation can be to say, ‘ It is important that we remember our rule about Respect – thank you for listening so well, that is howwe do it here .’ teachwire.net/secondary 53 B E H AV I O U R