Teach-Primary-Issue-19.8

Chapter 11, pages 76-77 www.teachwire.net | 61 76-77 Pushing past the leaves, I breathe a sigh of relief as I spot the silver and black telephone that’s fixed to the rear wall. I left my mobile back at the campsite, but now I’ve finally got a way to escape from this nightmare. A black handset with a silver metallic cord rests in a cradle of moulded plastic. I stare at the numbers on the keypad and rack my brain, trying to think of who to call. Every number I know is stored on my phone – Mum, Dad, Gran, Sol too – and I can’t remember a single one. I jump in surprise as the telephone rings. For a second, I just stand there, staring at the handset as it vibrates in time with every ring. Then I snatch up the phone, lifting the handset to my ear as I babble into the mouthpiece. “Please, you’ve got to help me—” But the words die on my lips as I hear a familiar sing-song voice crackling in my ear. “Forty forty, I hear you...” My blood runs cold as I cling to the phone. “Ring-a-ring-a, telephone line. Is this the best place you could find to hide? Each peach pear plum, I’ll see you soon if you don’t run!” I drop the receiver in fright as the Itter barks out this final word. Outside, the sun is still shining, but as I fumble to open the door, all I can see now are shadows. A disembodied giggle crackles from the handset as it swings from its steel cable. The Itter knows where I am. Extract from T E ACH RE AD I NG & WR I T I NG Ironic juxtaposition of old technology (the phone box) and new technology (Adam’s inability to remember any of the numbers stored on his mobile phone) gives the first hint to the reader that Adam isn’t going to escape from the situation he is in as easily as he initially hoped to. In horror stories, the use of the adjective ‘disembodied’ is more commonly used to describe ghostly apparitions such as headless horsemen or disembodied hands like Thing from Wednesday. Here though, it is used to describe the Itter’s giggle, which creates a dissonant image. Additionally, the image of the swinging steel cable also has macabre connotations. Adam’s dialogue articulates his desperation, with the use of the em dash indicating how Adam is abruptly cut off mid sentence, giving the reader a jolt. For the Itter, the antagonist of the story, I created a distinctive rhyming, sing-song style of speaking to create a sense of dread in the reader whenever the Itter speaks. In his dialogue, the Itter references playground games such as ‘forty forty’ and uses phrases such as ‘Each peach pear plum’, a rhyme used by children playing games to pick the person who is going to be ‘it’, which give the sense that he is playing games with Adam. Verb choices such as ‘jump’, ‘snatch’ and ‘babble’ help to emphasise a sense of Adam’s jitteriness and add to the tense atmosphere. Paragraph structure also helps to contribute to this with a sentence of inaction, describing how Adam stares at the phone, placed between two sentences describing Adam’s panicked actions. This simple sentence and statement of fact ends the extract on an ominous note, and hopefully, makes the reader want to read on to discover if Adam is able to escape from the Itter! First-person present tense narrative keeps the reader as close to the action and in the moment as possible, helping to build a heightened sense of tension. Inclusion of descriptive details such as ‘breathe a sigh of relief’ and ‘escape from this nightmare’ hint at a sense of premature triumph on the part of the narrator, Adam, which will soon be undercut. The contrast drawn between the sun shining outside and the fact that Adam can only see shadows now emphasises the character’s despair. Horror stories often use more unpleasant weather conditions such as fog to create mood and atmosphere, but I wanted to show how fear can appear even on a bright sunny day. For the Itter, the antagonist of the story, I created a distinctive rhyming, sing-song style of speaking to create a sense of dread in the reader whenever the Itter speaks. In his dialogue, the Itter references playground games such as ‘forty forty’ and uses phrases such as ‘Each peach pear plum’, a rhyme used by children playing games to pick the person who is going to be ‘it’, which give the sense that he is playing games with Adam.