Teach-Primary-Issue-19.4

chapter 15, p76 www.teachwire.net | 61 76 Win cries out, ‘I can see Spindrift! I can see the school!’ I look ahead and my heart leaps. The island is like something from a fairytale. It’s crammed full of cliffs, mountains and thick forest and perched at the top of the southernmost cliff is the school itself. It has four dizzyingly tall towers connected by a tangle of walkways and bridges. Balconies and turrets spring from the sides of each tower like branches on a tree and the windows dotting the walls shine like gold pennies in the afternoon sun. ‘It’s perfect,’ Rose sighs as we fly closer. ‘Even better than I imagined!’ ‘Is that what your school at Home looks like?’ asks Win. I picture Langton Academy with its boxy grey buildings and fenced-in playgrounds. ‘Not exactly,’ I say. Rose starts pointing out everything she can see. ‘That field in the middle of the towers is the meadow and you see how the top of the North Tower is filled with water? That’s where the swimming pool is. Mitch should be there! And that forest behind the school is where the dragons live.’ ‘Fierce ones?’ asks Win. Rose laughs. ‘Very! But the island is enchanted with magic that makes the dragons a bit friendlier so we should be safe. Hang on . . . What’s that?’ Rose is staring at the roof of the East Tower where little figures are doing somersaults on a trampoline. Extract from T E ACH RE AD I NG & WR I T I NG I call this a power sentence. It's useful to get a lot of key information across quickly, so the reader can visualise a scene before you go into detail. This is a very simple description and that’s fine. Sometimes all the reader needs is to be told what they can see in the clearest way possible. Adjectives and similes can be very effective, but too many will slow down the pace of a story. A character asking a question is a neat way to provide more information about a scene. Just make sure it’s a believable question, so the conversation feels natural. This is another power sentence. You can practise writing them yourself. Just pick something – your school, a dragon, a castle on a cloud – and try and describe it in one sentence. When I use a simile or metaphor I try to keep them simple. If they are too obscure the reader will have to pause to work out what comparison is being made and this can interrupt the flow of the story. These two sentences get readers excited about what is about to come. They build anticipation. I think it’s good to leave lots left unsaid, so the reader can get involved in the story. Rose could tell Win more here, but because she only says, ‘Very’, the reader’s mind will be buzzing with all the terrifying possibilities! Here, Rose is acting like a tour guide, pointing out the key features of the scene. This allows me to neatly swap who is narrating, to provide a new point of view.