Teach-Primary-Issue-19.4

positive existing relationships with parents so that we ensured they felt comfortable enough to be honest. We asked what was going well, what wasn’t going well and any potential next steps to improve things. The feedback was interesting and gave us lots to think about. Some comments were hard to hear, but this just motivated us further to improve things for our families. Another point of interest is that when we properly unpicked parent concerns, many were related to factors outside of our control, such as delays in processing education healthcare plans (EHCPs), the lack of specialist placements, and waiting lists for educational psychologists and other professionals. However, we realised that despite a wealth of information regarding SEND processes published on our school’s websites, several parents were unaware of how they worked. This enabled us to review how we communicate. For example, parents suggested that we feature various support staff in our newsletter to explain their role in school. We also held short information sessions from staff, sharing how they work with children, while parents enjoyed a cup of tea and a catch-up with each other. From here to there The first key area we decided to focus on was improving our transition processes for children with SEND from primary to secondary school. We were able to action suggestions made by parents and further develop existing practice. Our pilot secondary school, Poltair, further developed its tailored transition to include a universal, targeted and bespoke tiered approach including offering weekly transition sessions. All Year 6 children were invited to ‘Easter Super Sixes’, which were fun sessions held at Poltair during the Easter holidays to support children to familiarise themselves with the school site while it was quiet. The universal offer invites families to attend a session on Friday afternoons at the school. Children are asked to attend with a parent/carer so that the family can familiarise themselves with the school and build relationships with staff. The school hosts thirty families each week throughout the summer term. During my 30-year career working in schools, (from teacher to headteacher), I have had many conversations with parents concerning the behaviour of their offspring. Some of these conversations have been very positive; I’ve loved sending emails, or making phone calls home when a child has impressed us with their conduct, not just with their learning. However, I have had my fair share of conversations with parents when I have had less positive news about how their sons or daughters have reacted in school. I fully understand why some parents can be defensive in this situation – they may feel their parenting is being in some way criticised, or it may simply be that their love for their child leads them automatically to try to find excuses for behaviour that doesn’t meet our expectations. There are several strategies I remember using when talking to parents about pupils’ behaviour. If the parents were unhappy about how the school had dealt with a behaviour incident involving their child, I always invited them in to talk to me, and I started by saying, “I’m sorry if you don’t agree with the decisions we’ve taken, but I’m pleased we’re having this conversation. Please tell me what you’re thinking and feeling.” And I would listen, without interruption, to all they had to say. Once they’d finished, I would then explain our perspective, and the reasons behind any steps we had taken. If they tried to interrupt before I got to the end I’d point out (calmly) that I hadn’t interrupted them, and I needed them not to interrupt me, but promised we would discuss it all after I’d said what I needed to say. I found this usually defused the tension and allowed us all to explain our point of view. I’ve also said to disgruntled parents, “I recognise your child is the most important thing to you, and that’s just as it should be, and I care about them too. But I also care about every other child in the school, and that gives me a wider perspective. I need you to trust my professional judgement on this.” I strongly believe that we have to find a way forward which demonstrates clearly that we are all on the child’s side. Encouraging each individual to take responsibility for their actions, to learn from their mistakes, to apologise if they have got something wrong, and to determine to do better next time, is a crucial part of their education. What do we model if we only try to defend those we care about? Just as a good friend tells you (sensitively and kindly) the truth, rather than agreeing with everything you say and do, a good school, and a responsible parent, work together to support the child as they grow into adulthood. Jill Berry is a former headteacher, and is now a leadership development consultant. @jillberry102.bsky.social 38 | www.teachwire.net “Essentially, we knew we needed to do things differently” We need to talk about...