Teach Primary Issue 18.6

Bob Usher and Tracey Boseley provide insights and strategies for supporting children with SEND to navigate bereavement T here are unique challenges in providing support for children with additional needs to understand and manage their responses to death and grief. Professionals working with SEND pupils may feel they need to protect these vulnerable children from the realities of death. However, all children need to access the truth so that they can start making sense of what’s happened. Bereavement comes with a whole range of new language and sensory GRIEVING Ways of experiences that children may not have dealt with before. A child’s needs may also impact their ability to understand, communicate, process emotion or seek support. They may have life limiting conditions themselves and worry about their own mortality. What to say Adults don’t always feel comfortable using the words like ‘death’, but euphemisms can cause confusion. Use communication methods that meet the pupil’s needs and are familiar. Words, symbols, or signs for ‘dead’ and ‘died’ are essential. It may be necessary to give the same information many times to help a child make sense of what has happened. What to expect Grief is natural and everyone grieves differently. Although pupils with additional needs may grieve in similar ways to other children, it can be more challenging for them to express their grief and associate their feelings and emotions with the grief that they are experiencing. Some may take time to process the information, while others will react instantly. What’s important is to acknowledge that all feelings are valid. • Keep to the usual routines as much as possible. • Use social stories to help support the pupil in new situations they encounter. • Give the child time and space to process change. • Make sure they have access to resources, toys, activities, etc. that will help them to regulate their behaviour. • Use emotion or zones of regulation charts to help them express how they feel. • Remember the pupil’s behaviour is their way of communicating. During times of bereavement, all members of the school community need resources and support. For a comprehensive, free-to-access training tool for schools, created in collaboration with Child Bereavement UK, please visit, sendbereavement.lgfl. org.uk TP News of a death can result in unexpected reactions, and pupils can seem unaffected or indifferent. They may respond with laughter and jokes, or by being silly and making noises. They could show concern, confusion and fear, wailing, sobbing or screaming. Anger is a common emotion when grieving and can result in distressed behaviour that adults might find challenging. Help pupils by acknowledging anger as part of their grief and providing safe ways for them to express it. Grief may be expressed through changes in behaviour – even minor adaptations to a child’s usual responses. They may seek sources of comfort more frequently such as stimming, ticks, chewing and other sensory self-soothing behaviours. There may be changes to eating, sleeping and toileting patterns. Bereavement may result in regression in a child’s learning, behaviour and/ or personal care. This can be difficult for the child, as well as those who are caring for them, particularly where the pupil has worked hard to achieve some of their milestones. Regression is a typical reaction when a child is grieving though, and is likely to be temporary. It’s important to take notice of all changes in behaviour and how these may be related to expressions of grief. What to do The following strategies are useful in supporting pupils: www.teachwire.net | 29 F EATURE S S END , WE L L BE I NG Bob Usher is content manager at LGfL-The National Grid for Learning. lgfl.net Tracey Boseley is head of Education Sector Support at Child Bereavement UK (CBUK) childbereavementuk.org