Teach Primary Issue 18.5

Chapter 1, pages 5–7 www.teachwire.net | 59 5-7 Most people wouldn’t expect a great-grand- mother to use the world ‘fart’, so subverting that expectation takes the reader by surprise! I added in these asides so Nora can keep addressing the reader. Her snarky interjections offer another opportunity to make the reader laugh. The more she insults us, the more we love her! I used brackets here for an extra little joke at the end of this sentence. This slang term helps keep the tone light and amusing – especially because she’s using it to describe her great-grandchildren! Using a modern reference such as Star Wars helps readers relate to Nora, as well as showing them she’s not your average great-grandmother. Nora directly addresses the reader here, which immediately pulls them in and makes her character come alive. This creates intrigue for the rest of the book, hinting at the comedy shenanigans that are still to come. Nora is brash, outspoken and sassy – character traits that I deliberately chose to make her immediately funny. Here’s the deal: I’m going to tell you a story, but it’s going to be all about ME. The first thing you need to know about this story is that it is absolutely 100%, cross-my-heart-and-hope-not-to-fart, completely and utterly true. There are some parts in the middle where you’re going to be like ‘Yeah, yeah, nice one, Nora, there’s no way that really happened’, but I promise you IT DID. I may be many things, but a liar I am not. Not sure why that came out sounding like Yoda. A Jedi also I am not. This story starts with a girl, a boy, and a glamorous older lady who very foolishly agreed to look after them (me). I’m sure you’re wondering how I – an intelligent and independent woman – ended up looking after two little weasels. Well, they’re my grandchildren, so I didn’t have much choice. Technically, they are my great-grandchildren, but admitting that makes me a great-grandmother, which makes me sound terrifyingly old, so let’s not go there. The children are the property of my grandson, Liam. He’s a very talented young artist, and he had to go to Stockholm to discuss an exhibition at some fancy-pants gallery. I can never say no to him, so when he asked me if I’d look after Atticus and Autumn for a couple of days, of course I said yes – a decision I would come to regret. Many times. “What are you doing here?!” I asked, on the morning Liam and Niko came around to drop them off. I’ve gone back in time now to when the story starts. Keep up. “You agreed to look after the kids, remember?” said Liam. Extract from T E ACH RE AD I NG & WR I T I NG