Teach Primary Issue 18.2

www.teachwire.net | 51 T E ACH RE AD I NG & WR I T I NG Chapter 2, pages 14–15 x-x The Pirate’s Dragon I wanted to create a sense of how important this sacred ceremony is to the people of Arcosi. I layered visual details to convey that impression – from the white robes to the silver bowls and the ordered circle. The pirate raid will soon shatter all this careful preparation. In spite of all her privilege, Serina is lonely and isolated – this will be one of the opposites about her life here on Arcosi compared to the life she is about to discover on Skull Island. I love to use physical sensations to hint at emotional state. Layering thoughts, feelings, observation and dialogue helps the reader see the world through your character’s eyes – it’s the closest thing to mind-reading. This long sentence with its repeated ‘surrounded’ is aiming to use rhythm to create that sense of concentric circles. Poor Serina - she’s about to learn that this isn’t true at all! It’s normal to see ourselves as the centre of the world, but this story has two sides… This scene sets up Serina’s world before it turns upside down. Her focused nervousness gave me a good excuse to show all these details of the setting she is about to leave. This is the only moment of direct speech here, and it runs straight on, back into her thoughts, to keep with that interiority and seeing the world through her eyes. I wanted to show that Serina is kind and thoughtful, even at moments of high tension. She doesn’t have any proper friends at this point – but it’s not her fault. Here we get to see beneath Serina’s mask – she might be used to hiding her feelings, but the shaky breath shows the reader the truth. And suddenly, it was time: everything sprang into crisp clear focus. Serina had never felt so awake, spotting every tiny detail that stood between her and those eggs. She was second in line, placed in age order, as the Potentials walked slowly down the steps into the open space that waited for them. Identical in their white robes, they sat down in a circle on the scrubbed cobbles, facing the covered eggs. All around them lay silver bowls containing springwater and shredded roast chicken: all ready to nourish the new baby dragons that were about to hatch. It was as if the eggs lay in the centre of the world, thought Serina: right in the middle of the marketplace, surrounded by Potentials, surrounded by guards, surrounded by all the dragons of Arcosi, surrounded by tiered rows and rows of onlookers. Serina let out a long, shaky breath, and made her face friendly and neutral. As the daughter of a duke and duchess, she was used to ceremonial occasions. From years of practice, she knew she could sit calmly for hours, without fidgeting. But inside, her stomach felt tight: with nerves, excitement or hunger, she had no idea. None of the other ten children would meet her gaze as they settled into place, all except Hala, whose mother was friends with Milla. Serina and Hala had played together when they were smaller, and now Hala gave her a little nervous grin. Serina smiled back and whispered, ‘Good luck!’ then bit her lip in case that was seen as favouring someone – she’d been warned about doing that. Extract from